Wednesday, 22 September 2010

not a happy PWF

Here I am again, at the end of another day when I've fallen off the healthy eating wagon big time. :(

Today started well enough - cereal and fruit for breakfast, soup for lunch. Then I discovered the open box of chocolates and things went down hill. I'll have just one, then one turns into 5, then into a handful. I keep coming back to the open box through the afternoon, and eating a few more. By dinner time, I've eaten my daily calorie allowance in chocolate and still can't stop.

Why do I do this? It makes me hate myself. I don't really understand why. I'm bored, I suppose. I haven't really done anything today beyond waiting in for a delivery. Yesterday when I planned things to do and did them was better, though not much.
I like food. I like eating chocolate. It's comforting and pleasurable at the time. But afterwards I just want more.

I want to lose weight. I need to lose weight. I hate how long it takes. I hate denying myself. I hate how I look right now and the clothes that don't fit and the lumps and bumps I try and fail to disguise. I remember the summer I was slim (2007) and wonder if I'll ever get back there again. I don't understand how I had the will power to lose weight then.

What can I do?

4 comments:

robhu said...

When I opened those chocolates I thought "Is it safe to open them?" but I thought it would be ^^;;

elly said...

don't have chocolates around maybe

ChristyF said...

I completely understand how you feel. I have had a bad week too, but tomorrow is a new day. I'm not looking forward to weigh in on Monday, but I will face the music and move on. Just know that it IS absolutely possible to get back to the way you felt before and you WILL do it. It's a mindset; once I am focused, there is no problem. If I lose focus on one day, it's all down hill from there. WE CAN DO THIS!!! We have done it before. Hang in there!

Debbie said...

I love how practical your mom is! Lol! And I'm sure she speaks from experience and with a lifetime of wisdom!
Perhaps you can get your Rob to hid his chocolates so you're not so tempted?? I know on the days I'm having cravings if I know where the chocolate is I will constantly go back to it. Altho one of my big temptations is salt. Crisps/chips, saltine crackers, etc. If I know they're in the house I'll go for them. So I either have to keep busy and try to forget about them, or just insist they stay out of sight or out of the house.
Good luck, Bekki dear! Let us know how your fight against the chocolates goes!