Here I am again, at the end of another day when I've fallen off the healthy eating wagon big time. :(
Today started well enough - cereal and fruit for breakfast, soup for lunch. Then I discovered the open box of chocolates and things went down hill. I'll have just one, then one turns into 5, then into a handful. I keep coming back to the open box through the afternoon, and eating a few more. By dinner time, I've eaten my daily calorie allowance in chocolate and still can't stop.
Why do I do this? It makes me hate myself. I don't really understand why. I'm bored, I suppose. I haven't really done anything today beyond waiting in for a delivery. Yesterday when I planned things to do and did them was better, though not much.
I like food. I like eating chocolate. It's comforting and pleasurable at the time. But afterwards I just want more.
I want to lose weight. I need to lose weight. I hate how long it takes. I hate denying myself. I hate how I look right now and the clothes that don't fit and the lumps and bumps I try and fail to disguise. I remember the summer I was slim (2007) and wonder if I'll ever get back there again. I don't understand how I had the will power to lose weight then.
What can I do?