Saturday, 11 July 2009

The joy of being thin

So I do remember being thin. I was there about a year and a half ago. I was 160 lbs. I am on the taller side, so that was pretty good. I have a large build, so I will never be very light. I could have lost another 10-15 lbs, but I was feeling pretty good where I was. Healthy, energetic, feeling and looking comfortable. Then...I slowly but surely gained it all back. All 30 lbs. Its so frustrating. I look at pictures now and get soooo mad at how gross I look and feel. I can't put into words how upsetting it is to me to be feeling this way again. I don't know why food is so hard to give to God. Some sin is so easy to hand over, but food??? No way. I am really working on that. See even though I started SB again yesterday, I am still way sinning over food. I think way too much about it. Its on my mind. What can I have? What can't I have? What should I eat next? AAHHH! SO that is what I have to work on the most. Trusting God to help me with my over eating! Gosh, if I gave him all the time I give thinking about what I am going to eat, I would be one godly woman. Gotta work on that. Thanks for listening.
Yesterday I was good about what I ate and today we are going to some friends house for dinner. I plan to do very well there too! I have to. I really like how great I felt when I was under control.


ChristyF said...

Nikki- You have just put into words how I've been feeling! It is a frustrating cycle and you are not alone. I need to pray more and eat less.

Welcome back Debbie!! I wasn't able to say hello this week because my laptop was down, but I'm glad you are back.

Debbie said...

I'll be praying for you, Nikki.

Thanks, Christy! I'm glad to be back!

Brandi said...

Nikki--You know I have been there and I still go there from time to time...especially these days when I have an extra 25 pounds from my baby...

But one thing you need to remember is that you are beautiful as you are...think how you would feel if your daughter was saying she looked gross...your Father doesn't like that! :-)

Keep seeking Him...and don't confuse overweight with gluttony. They are tied at times, but not all the time.

But I will end with is nice to be thin...I remember and I look forward to being back there again. :-)

Nikki said...

Thanks you guys. Brandi you are totally right. I think I feel gross more than I look gross! Sluggish and slow. I need to move more and put more fruits and veggies into my body. How are you feeling? Everything going well with baby?