... if I'm Gilligan or the portly Skipper. Anyway, here's an excerpt from my journal this morning:
Throughout my whole weight loss journey, since March of 2007, I've lost more than 50 pounds. I should be ecstatic, but in many ways I feel disappointed. I had expected to reach my goal (72 pounds) by August of 2007, and here I am in November 2008 and I'm not even close. I still have the 20ish extra pounds hanging around, and I still have a strong desire to eat and eat and eat.
I feel like I'm on an island by myself. Most people would look at me and say, “Hey, you've lost over 50 pounds, be happy! That's enough” I don't feel that way, though. The hard thing is spiritual leaders (who I admire) can't even relate to my problem. Either they don't have an eating issue, or they do and they don't seem to care. That's why I feel like I'm on an island by myself.
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3 comments:
Bird, I so completely understand. Most of the time I feel like a failure. I started out weighing 260. In July of '06 I was somewhere around the 245 mark and that's when I got serious about loosing weight. Then I got down to roughly 190 and have just hung out there. I really, really want to finish the weightloss but then I just want to eat...and not the good stuff. March will make 2 years that I've hung around this weight. It's a tough battle. My heart cries out to loose the weight but then there are those moments (when I'm eating junk stuff) that I too just don't seem to care. I don't care the moments before I eat the stuff. You're not an island Bird.
Bird and Tami, you're not alone. I understand where you are coming from because I'm right there with you. I too want to loose this weight. My short term goal is 170 and I've been at 185-190 for several months now. I go up and I go down and I go up and I go down and it's just a vicious cycle. I go down and I get lax about what I'm eating and I start "cheating" and I go back up. I need to stop this and get serious about the weight loss again. This past weekend felt like another failure. I had so much candy and I'm afraid that now that the holidays are upon us, that I will do more damaage. I need to gain control before that happens. Today is a new day.
I just want to encourage all of you who are discouraged but who aren't giving up. That is the most important thing. Don't give up! Satan's voice of condemnation is designed to tempt you to do just that!
God's grace is sufficient!
And, Honey, don't forget...you have lost over 50 pounds. That is huge. The last ones are the hardest but you will get there. :-)
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