I've had thoughts rolling around in my head for a while. When wrote a post on Friday I know I sounded desperate and at that moment I was. I was in a state of wanting to just not care and have what I want. Is a burger bad...no. Is Chinese bad...no. Is it good for me...I would venture to say no. Will I die or get some horrible sickness from eating a burger. No (hopefully not). Brandi and Elly were sweet and completely correct in their response to my post but at that moment in time, I needed to stick to my guns (Friday), and deny myself a burger or Chinese or whatever else. You see, I've come to the realization after being "stuck" where I'm at on the scale for a 1 1/2 yrs that I can't seek or hope for some light bulb moment. Some moment of external motivation. I have to dig deep inside of myself and force myself to make the right decisions. It's a constant. I have to constantly deny myself. I have to tell myself that although that pumpkin pie that I'm craving won't really hurt me, it's not whats best for me...at that moment. Now mind you, I'm not saying to give up everything. Have I had some pumpkin pie? Not recently but I did 2 weeks ago. Last Saturday Jeff and I went to Burgerville and split a burger and large fry for lunch. We each ordered a shake and split it with the kids. Since then, I have denied myself any other self indulgences. Have I wanted other things, yes. Have I allowed myself, no. Guys, we have to just dig. We have to stay strong and do what we do with the purest of intent.
I don't know how many of you know but this summer I started studying for a Bachelor of Science in Holistic Nutrition. If that doesn't seem crazy, I don't know what does. Here I struggle with loosing more weight, struggle with making healthy food decisions and yet decide to study nutrition. Any hoots, I wanted to share something from one of the books I've had to read. I know it's something many of us have said over and over and over again (to ourselves) but I feel it's worth being said again. In Elson M. Haas' book Staying Healthy with Nutrition he states "When we say the word diet, many of us may think of a particular time when we tried to lose or gain weight before going back to what we usually eat. Who we are, how we feel, and how we look in size and shape are the results of what we eat, our eating habits, and all that we do and think. So, if we wish to change in any way, we probably need to change our diet-that is, what and how we eat-rather than go on a diet."
Later Haas states, "Balancing our diet requires developing new tastes." and "Changing our diet or lifestyle is not necessarily easy, but it can be done, and it may influence many other aspects of our life for the better"
So, where did your motivation mojo go? How do you get it back. To use the phrase Nike coined, "Just do it". Dig down, dig deep, pray, and do it. It's a struggle. Don't I know all to well. It's a struggle that's worth it.